azaelas

      We have lived in our house over 15 years now.  The front landscaping was a hodge podge of shrubs when we moved here.  At some point I decieded I'd like to grow white azaelas as a nice backdrop for other flowers-and I love azaelas.  There were several in various colors already growing here.  So over the years, I'd plant a few and most of them died.  I was attempting the one bush at a time landscape plan.  After years of this I stopped and took notice of all my failures.  This fall I took a soil sample to the extension agent and told him what I wanted to do.  I also consulted with a landscaper about an overall plan.  I read several books about growing azaelas.  Then I used the tiller and ammended the soil.  I purchased 4 large white azaelas.  Then I added soaker hoses and an automatic watering system.  I also added lots of pine needle mulch.  At this point I am 100% committed.  Time will tell if I'm successful but I know I'm at least doing all I can.  I'm also going to add frequent attention. 

Fall and Halloween

         This week we have watched the leaves start to fall in the front yard.  There's been a huge harvest moon.  This really is my favorite time of year.  Fall is more colorful than spring and it signals the start of winter and the rest season.  Most of the work has been done and the harvest is in or close to being in.  Spring and summer are so labor intensive that I look forward to a break. Fall is the time that you put plants to bed for the winter.   I love the cooler nights and the colors of fall.  Pumpkins, apples and hearty soups are some of my favorite foods.
      Then there's the most fascinating holiday- Halloween.  Who is not intrigued or scared some by the thought of death?  I reverence those that have gone before me.  I want to remember them and celebrate their lives.  Catholics know this really is the origin of Halloween.  Cemetaries should be special places.  They fascinate me.  Death and what lies beyond really is the big mystery, isn't it?  (Maybe the existence of alien life forms is the number 1 mystery according to Hollywood?)  Death is something that we all are touched by eventually.  It's the mystery we all have to come to grips with ourselves.  I feel that Halloween in some small part helps us to do this. 

Fear

   Recently I've been thinking about fear.  It can be a huge hindrance.  My oldest daughter recently spent two months overseas.  I kept having nightmares about obstacles she could face.  I admired her gumption to go but several people commented that they could never do such a thing.  It seems that our fears get larger as we get older, so maybe we had best have our adventures when we're young.
   Everyone in my family has a fear of the water.  None of us can swim.  I have found out that my dad nearly drowned as a young man and told my mother not to take us near the water.  So we all have this fear of the water, due to a lack of exposure I guess.  And from someone who has had swimming lessons, it can be a strong fear.  We can inherit fears from our parents in this way.  Parents can also help you face and overcome your fears.  It's hard as a parent to watch your children do things that scare you, but it can be done. 
   In healthcare, I see alot of anxiety.  It can be debiliatating.  We frequently make our own cages and limit ourselves.  I  wonder what I could accomplish if I didn't let fear get in my way.  And heaven help me from passing on my fears to my children.   We all need to just go boldly out into the world trusting in the goodness that is all around us.

The book Club and the library

  Years ago I tried to get a book club going with my friends.  The plan was to rotate houses,  hosting, and picking the book and leading the discussion.  It lasted for a few months before it became too big of a struggle. I guess I was asking alot.  I gave up the struggle and shortly afterwards joined the bookclub at the local library.  This was with a group of strangers and without great refreshments.  Years later I'm still going to this bookclub.  We have all gotten to know each other and people havve come and gone.  A few of us have remained faithful through the years.  We've had two different librarians as leaders and are lucky with the current leader.  We have read some great books and have had great discussions that have enlightened me.  I've been introduced to Wendell Berry, David Baldacci and Ken Follet during this past year.  I have gone on to read other books by these authors.  The bookclub has taken my appreciation of reading to a whole new level.
    Our library was one of the first places I explored when we moved here. The kids were small, it was summer and so we went to the reading program.  I still remember the storyteller from the boyscout museum that first summer.  I grew up making a weekly trip to the library so I continued that here.  We have always loved the library.   Last night I went to a book sale at the library.  It's done once a year as a fundraiser.  The books were stacked everywhere.  I purchased two big bags of treasures.  I'll take them a box or two during the year, of books that we no longer need. It's a great recycling program.  I am a friend of the library.  I couln't imagine being anything less.

The Birthday weekend and the Memphis kitten

    About a month ago, I felt terrible about the Memphis kitten that I lost at Uncle Dayton's house.  Well last weekend we brought him home.  Anthony's aunt and uncle made friends with him and fed  him for us, so when we went through Memphis to my Aunt's birthday we stopped and picked him up.  We named him SammieDay after the aunt and uncle that took care of him.  He's a boy and seems to be adjusting to life in the house right now.   It's nice to have a new family member and he is my Memphis cat.    

    The weekend we picked him up we went to my aunt's 100 birthday party in West, MS.  It was also my 49th birthday.  My mother turned 95 the next day.  It was a great weekend celebration.   I am so lucky to still have my mama and my aunt.  They both can still walk and can carry on a conversation.   Neither of them are in nursing homes. They have great memories that I enjoy listening to.   The weekend was a little family reunion too with most of us there and also my nephew who has been in the virgin islands for awhile and  has been missed.  I couldn't imagine any better way to spend my 49th birthday. 

                             

Lily and the chickens

    Instead of the watered garden, right now we have the weedy garden.  After a certain point you just give up and the weeds happily take over everything.  This year our main crop has been and will be gourds.  Mayfield has a gourd festival in September so it's appropriate.  I'm not the crafty type so I don't know what we'll do with them all.  They are making a good shade canopy over the chicken pen right now.  Yes and then there's the chickens.  Unfortunately my beloved dog is a chicken killer.  I can't understand it since she is just so sweet.  Lily chased them for quite awhile before she ever caught one.  She did it mortal damage and has been lethally after them ever since.  We like to let the chickens free range a little in the evenings so we have been putting Lily in the dog pen.  We feel sorry for her so I bought her an expensive comfortable muzzle.  She was able to kill a chicken with just her big paws.  So she's back in the pen in the evenings.  I wish I knew a solution to this.  
      

Memphis kitten

  We have two large dogs, numerous cats and almost 50 chickens.  I also love to feed the hummingbirds and songbirds. I think we take good care of our animals.   This weekend we went to Memphis to see my mama.  She has various feral cats around her house that she feeds.  There is a mama cat with 3 gray kittens and the kittens were weaned and easy to catch, but not exactly tame.  I wanted to give one a better life with us and to have a Memphis cat.  Well we caught one and placed it in a cardboard box.  We then went to a family gathering at my husband's uncle's house in another part of Memphis.  My family brought the cat into a shaded breezeway and placed a firepit grate over the top of the box so it could get air.  It was quite a hot day.  We gave him water and checked on the kitten frequently.  Well at some point the kitten made an escape.  The whole family came out and looked for the kitten but if anything we probably ran it farther away.  We never saw it again and I just feel terrible.  I really wanted to help out the little thing and all I did was take it away from everything familiar and it's family.  It's in a much worse situation now.  The whole thing just gives me an uneasy feeling.  You can have good intentions and think you are doing the right thing and it just go terribly wrong.  We should have recognized that the grate was a little bit short and it could be moved.  Why didn't we see these things as possibilities and do something else?  The whole situation didn't go as I planned and that gives me a bad feeling.  Anything can turn out like that.  And sometimes the consequences could be so much worse or even tragic.  This whole condition of being human and in this world can be kind of dicey and unpredictable.  I want to think we have control over things, but we don't always.  It all just makes me uneasy. (I'm seeing this over and over again in the ER)    I guess for the most part, I'm over the whole thing.  I hope the kitten survives. The uncle said he'd call us if the kitten shows up.