Racism

    I haven't given too much thought to racism in my life.  As a white person I haven't had to.  I did grow up in Memphis in the 70's and experienced a certain tension around race. I remember the failed experiment with bussing.  I remember wondering if my parents were racist.  They were older and my Mama was from Mississippi and she never stopped using the word nigger.  I remember wondering why there were no integrated neighborhoods.  My parents tried to instill fear of a group of blacks in me.  The worst thing that could happen to you is having your car break down and then you could be assaulted, raped and murdered usually by blacks.  I didn't totally buy into everything my parents believed.  I did have a black friend Charlene, my senior year of high school that I dearly admired and loved.  I really thought that racism was a thing of the past and blacks enjoyed all the rights and opportunities that we all had.  Even though I loved history, I was pretty ignorant of the details of the civil rights movement of the 60's.  

   I can remember being mystified by the verdict in the OJ Simpson trial.  I saw that as a crime against a woman and I felt a gulf between myself and blacks.  Then I saw the video of the shooting of Walter Scott in NC and I thought this has been happening for a long time but we are only just now seeing it because of the easy availability of video.  

    In sept 2018 our church made a trip to Montgomery, Al.  I went because I was off work and I like my church people and don't get to spend enough time with them.  I really only had a foggy idea about The Legacy Museum and The Memorial for Peace and Justice that we were going to.  The whole experience opened my eyes.  The words at the memorial were not sugar coated like I'm used to in reading history.  They spoke of lynching as terrorism.  It was a moving memorial to a painful past that so many Americans do not want to confront.  

 Earlier in 2017 I was able to go the Martin Luther King Memorial and the Museum of African American History in DC.  Both were eye opening.  I also made it to the Civil Rights Museum in Memphis where Martin Luther King was assassinated.  I have some more places on my list to visit when I can.

    So the recent outrage at the killing of George Floyd both surprised and pleased me.  I wanted to be in the streets marching in solidarity.  All  because of a video and a pandemic people paid attention.  I was relieved to hear the verdict in the trial yesterday.  I am saddened that it has taken so long to get people's attention.  And the struggle will continue..........

   

New year New Internet

     We live out in the county.  We are about 6 miles from a small town. We have 30 acres but also have neighbors and have been here 25 years now.  When we moved here the kids were in grade school and we had a dial up internet connection and no cell phones.  Things have really changed.  Now we have no house phone and our internet has increased in importance.  It did get me through online classes at Murray state and I can stream and use the internet.  I know some rural areas haven't had it as good as we have.  It's lately been from At&t and is fixed wireless.  It has a dish to work and would drop the signal frequently for seconds at a time.  It was like the signal was stuttering. Sometimes it would work just fine.  You just never knew and there are few other options.  Well yesterday we got highspeed fiber internet.  I feel like we've come into the 20th century.  It's hard to function now without a reliable internet connection.  

   I have elderly relatives who have dropped their internet service.  I know it's not easy to keep up with technology but it's so important if you want to stay connected.  I go to Sunday school on zoom and skype with my daughter in London.  Streaming TV has replaced the networks and cable and it's better.  So many changes.  We all have to keep changing too.

The New Year

      I have to say that everyone has been ready to put 2020 behind us.  No big new years celebrations here though with COVID being rampant and the weather also bad.  Then came Jan 6.  A large group of Trump supporters stormed the capital as the legislators were confirming the election results from the electoral college.  It was really a formality.  Trump claimed the election had been stolen from him and encouraged his supporters to action. They broke into the capitol disrupting the vote and searching for Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi.  There were multiple injuries and several fatalities and Trump remained silent. Everyone watched  the footage on TV.  So now we are having another impeachment trial after Joe Biden has taken office.  Some republicans have condemned Trump's actions but the majority are standing with him.  I doubt that the impeachment will be successful.  I think impeachment is too good for the man and I hope he goes to prison.  I have been shocked by Trump's incompetence and dishonesty but also by the fact that the majority of Republicans remain silent and have continued in their support.

   Jan 20 Inauguration day was like sweet balm to my soul.  I'm hoping the political drama can cease and we can all be vaccinated soon.  Everyone is wanting a better 2021 than 2020 was.  

COVID Part 2

 

So Operation Warp speed has gifted us with vaccines for COVID.  I always knew science was wonderful.  The Pfizer vaccine was the first one approved by the FDA in December and our hospital had the freezers and received a shipment soon after approval. They started vaccinating  healthcare workers in England just before this.  I wanted to be vaccinated before Christmas and could have, except for previous plans, so I got my vaccine shortly after Christmas.  A sore arm and peace of mind was what I received. It was a coveted Christmas present. I know after the second injection I'll feel even safer.  The number of cases has just been exploding.  Much higher numbers than in spring and summer.  More people are dying, but at the same time people are tired of staying home and wearing masks.  I look forward to when everyone can be vaccinated.   Businesses are suffering and healthcare has been changed forever.  I have seen a lot of changes in healthcare but never at this speed before.  It's kind of mind boggling.  Everyone welcomed the new year 2021 with hope because of the vaccine and the wish to put this behind us.

Politics in 2020

     This has been a year for the history books.  It's one that all of us will always remember for our lifetimes.  Covid19 has made it that way, but there was also the election this year.  I have to admit in 2016 when Trump was elected, I was so shocked and saddened that I cried.  Mainly I mourned the loss of the election of Hillary Clinton, as the first woman president.  She had come to Mayfield, KY to campaign.  She served as secretary of state and as first lady.  Late in the campaign, it was revealed on tape Trump saying some very disparaging words about women.  He couldn't deny it because it was on tape and really vulgar.  I thought that would seal his fate come election time. What woman would vote for him after hearing that? Hillary was ahead in all the polls.  Then election night came and it wasn't at all like I had expected.  Trump was elected and I was shocked and saddened.  But I decided to give him a chance.  Maybe Trump could do the job.

     These last four years have proven nothing but Trump's ineptitude.  Our country has suffered.  He has been unable to appoint and keep competent cabinet and high level government officials.  Yet he has found jobs for his family members. He continually tweets and spreads misinformation. He has buddied up to Russia and dismissed any Russian interference in his election. He has repeatedly refused to release his tax returns.  He pressured Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden's son Hunter.  He is a bully, a braggart and a racist and an embarrassment to our country.  He is detached from reality.

        Trump's handling of Covid19 was pretty dismal.  He kept making statements that were blatantly false while trying to underplay the pandemic.  Testing was very slow to become widely available.  Masks and shutdowns were considered unnecessary at first.  Governors and mayors stepped up and imposed shutdowns, which caused criticism from Trump.  Trump continued to host events without wearing masks.  It's no wonder that Trump himself came down with the virus, which he then began to proclaim as no big deal. Through all of this Trump was more concerned his reelection than he was about the health and wellbeing of the American people.  Despite all of this, Trump had many supporters in his bid for reelection.  Kentucky was the first state to turn red with it's Trump support.  In many rural areas there was much support for Trump.  He is the conservative candidate that does not believe in abortion or imposing any gun restrictions.  Party loyalty was at an all time high and Trump has certainly changed the republican party. Election night 2020 was a nail biter.  For the first time, mail in and early ballots were accepted and commonplace.  No one wanted to go to the polls and catch Covid19 so finally voting was easier and more readily available.  This was a good thing but it changed the timeline for tabulating votes.  I went to bed thinking we had 4 more years of Trump.  The next day was a little better and it just kept getting that way.  6 states were in question for several weeks (Georgia, Michigan, Arizona, Nevada, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania) but when everything was counted they all went for Biden.  Trump has yet to concede the election and has tried to get state legislatures and even the supreme court to throw out votes. He declares the election was stolen from him. It should be an interesting inauguration day.  Finally, we at least have a woman vice president.   

COVID part 1

       Just to catch things up 2019 was a Big Year for us.  My mother died in sept (she was 103) and both our daughters got married.  Madeleine and Allen married in Sept at KY dam Village.  Sophia and Oliver married in Dec in London.  Big Changes in 2019.

       2020 started like most other years.  There was book club, work, appointments.  I made plans to go to a conference in Chattanooga at the end of Feb with a former coworker, Tonya.  I had been hearing about a novel virus from Wuhan china.  I actually had a 12 year old come to the ER with a fever and his mom wanted a test for this Corona virus.  The boy's teacher had gone to china and then handed out candy to the kids.  The boy had influenza, but I did some research about testing for this new corona virus from China.  There was no testing except at the state lab and they did not recommend testing unless the patient met strict criteria.  (this 12 year old patient did not) I asked around the physicians I work with about what they thought about this new virus.  Mostly I got shrugs.  Dr Martin was the exception and he said that he was stocking up on essentials.  Then we went to an ER conference in Chattanooga.  Physicians from Vanderbilt spoke at the conference about how this virus was going to overwhelm our healthcare system. There would be shortages of protective equipment.  They spoke about how contagious this virus is and deadly. We would have drive through testing centers.  I know they said the word pandemic.  This left us speechless and scared.  Tonya and I immediately ordered a few N95 masks from amazon for too much money.  We pictured working long exhausting hours.  

      We came back to work and were called to get fit tested for  N95 masks.  I knew things were serious when the NCAA basketball tournament was cancelled.  Everyday brought a new change.  One day a nurse was wearing a mask. The next day everyone was.  We had a new door to enter work by.  There were lots of administrative meetings.  Testing was still very limited.  Schools and every activity were cancelled.  Restaurants closed.  Our first COVID patient in the ER was an older man who had been on a cruise and then came down with appendicitis.  No one suspected COVID.  My first patient had vomiting and diarrhea and the test I did was almost a fluke.  Everyone was told to stay home so a lot of people did.  Our volume in the ER was cut in half.  Patients apologized for coming in when they had a broken bone.  Our employer cut our hours drastically. They also gave providers a 10% pay cut which they would reinstate later and then pay us back when able.  They said it was a national emergency and our contracts were invalid.  One midlevel left.  The remaining 3 of us split what hours we had.  I worked 9 shifts in April and 5 shifts in may.  I work with 2 guys who were supporting their families so I let them have more shifts.  This was not how I had pictured a pandemic being.  I stayed home and gardened.  We really worked on some changes to our garden and improving the soil.  I was determined to keep the weeds out too, so I mulched and mulched.

      In June I had an unexpected  two week stretch off.  We had bought a new camper in 2019 and were anxious to take a big trip so this was a perfect opportunity (kind of).  June 17th we left home to go to the Dakotas.  I wanted to see Mt Rushmore and the Badlands. My parents had lived in Garrison, North Dakota in the 50's before I was born and I wanted to see that too.  My dad had worked on building the Garrison dam.  We also discovered harvest hosts and boondocking.  It was a really good trip.  We loved South Dakota and especially the badlands. Hot springs SD was a nice little town.  I had just read Undaunted Courage about Lewis and Clark so we made that a part of the trip by going to see Sgt Floyd's grave, Fort Mandan and stayed at Lewis and Clark state park in Iowa where they had a replica of their keelboat.  I loved the book and seeing the Missouri river and replicas of their fort and keelboat made the whole book come alive for me.  We came home in a rainstorm to an overflowing garden.  Covid was not too much of a thought for us while we were gone.  We wore masks in stores and gas stations but the camper was our home.  So glad we got to make the trip.

    Back at work in July we all got 10 shifts a month. (almost full time) Our ER volume was slowing creeping back up.  Fourth of July was pretty much cancelled.  We learned how to zoom.  In person Church was cancelled in March but we get together for worship on face book and then coffee hour on zoom.  I have attended services in Paducah and at the national cathedral.  I'm getting used to going to church in my bathrobe. I figured this pandemic would be ending by fall anyway.  It just hasn't turned out that way.

7 year hiatus

   I have forgotten all about blogging.  It’s been 7 years.  Amazing that I could even log in.  So much has happened in 7 years there is no way to catch up so I will just have to start again.  That’s how life seems to be.  Sometimes you just get back to it and start again.  so.......